In your life journey, you’ve likely met one or two of the relentlessly difficult, crazy-making folks I call Hijackals®. That’s what has drawn you to this group. I certainly have. I was raised by Hijackals, married, divorced and co-parented with one, and have been through some of what you are experiencing now. That’s why I want to help.
I created the word, Hijackals®, to describe people who hijack relationships–for their own purposes–and then, relentlessly scavenge them for power, status, and control. It could be a parent, partner, ex, friend, or co-worker.
I can help you if you’re with a Hijackal, have left one, or were raised by one.
Emerging Empowered Community is a safe place where you are among friends and peers, who have been or are in relationship with a Hijackal, and know what you’re going through.
If you are living with someone who:
- always makes you wrong
- makes everything your fault
- never takes responsibility for anything
- never sincerely apologizes
...then, you need these immediate insights, skills, and strategies. You’ll get huge help–and relief–from this Emerging Empowered community.
When you are hurt, confused, demeaned, and exhausted by your relationship, you need to be “where everybody knows your name,” where everyone knows the journey.
- Ask your questions.
- Express your feelings.
- Ask for insights and support.
- Learn new strategies
- Learn from other people’s experiences
That is why we have chosen to provide a private sanctuary for you. This is a place for people who are struggling in relationship with a Hijackal - a relentlessly difficult, toxic person.
If the Hijackal is your spouse, your ex, your parent, your boss--or, someone you feel you HAVE to communicate and spend time with, or are not ready to release from your life--then, you are in the right place to get support.
Choosing to become a member also indicates that you have read, and understand, the disclaimer below.
Dr. Shaler reserves the sole right to decline membership to anyone she feels would be unsafe or create an uncomfortable environment. Dr. Shaler may choose to have a conversation with you before allowing entry to the Emerging Empowered groups.
To become a member of our Community, you must agree to abide by the following principles.
Members who choose not to conduct themselves in a manner appropriate to this space will have their membership terminated with no notice and no refunds.
Join in the discussions. Ask a question. Learn from others. Share your experience. The discussion groups works like Facebook groups, easy to use and read, even from your mobile device.
Dr. Shaler and her staff will also regularly post ideas, insights, answers and resources. (Some sites charge more than $75/m for this!)
Time with Dr. Shaler
Each month, Dr. Shaler offers small group Q&A Sessions. On the 2nd Tuesday & 3rd Saturday of the month, you can join the calls by Zoom.
Talk LIVE with Dr. Shaler and get YOUR questions answered. Members can access both monthly sessions at no additional cost. (Non-members $25/per session, so that's a $50 benefit each month).
20% off all Dr. Shaler's online courses (new ones added every couple months).
Download free Ebooks, articles, audios and videos ONLY for members.
AND, the exclusive opportunity to book single private sessions with Dr. Shaler, without a package. This is only available to members and past clients.
Dr. Shaler focuses on helping the partners, exes, and adult children of the relentlessly difficult, toxic people she calls Hijackals® to stop the crazy-making and save their sanity.
Author of sixteen books, she hosts the internationally popular Save Your Sanity: Help for Toxic Relationships podcast. Her YouTube channel, ForRelationshipHelp, has reached over a half million views.
“Thank you so much for your podcast!! Your genuine care of others in taking the time to generate the information in this podcast emits itself so strongly!!! It has brought me to tears, helped me to identify behaviors, and finally given me the ability put a name with a face! I would love to maybe speak with you one on one at some point. ...thanks again! 💕”
“Raised by, and all partners have been Hijackals... after nearly 5 years of Severe verbal and emotional abuse, I’m out! I recommend you to women I meet who are in same boat. I’ve learned so much from you, the cycle is over!! Thank You ❤️”
“I sincerely appreciate diligent and experiential experts like you. I owe you one for my going no contact with the Covert Narcissist both episodically and for good...The untold story is yet to be shared. I'm both assertive and positive.”
Will I actually get to talk with Dr. Shaler?
YES. I participate in the discussion groups regularly, plus the two monthly "Ask Me Anything" sessions are live on Zoom we can talk face-to-face in small groups. (You can choose to be on-camera or not.)
What if I want to quit?
If you decide this isn't for you, you can quit anytime. There is no contract. You can keep everything you've received up to that point, and you can always come back again if you wish!
What about my privacy?
Our platform is on a secure network, and not connected to social media. Content is only accessible by members and admins.
We recommend memorizing a unique password so that nobody else can access your account.
We do our utmost to monitor the system and keep you safe, however as we know, some people are very good at manipulating the system. If we discover bad actors, they will be immediately removed and banned from the system.
Do not share personal contact information - location, workplace or other identifiers. You are responsible for keeping your own counsel on what you'll reveal to anyone else here.
Subscriptions are non-refundable, but you can cancel anytime. Your subscription will remain active until the end of your most recent billing cycle (unless you are terminated for bad behavior).
Subscription & membership in the community is at the sole discretion of Dr. Shaler.
Professional Services Disclaimer: The content of this site has been written for the general interest and information of the reader. Nothing said or implied on this site should be taken, or construed in any way, as legal advice, or personal advice of any kind. It is entirely informational, offering readers, subscribers, followers, and members educational resources, anecdotes, case studies, and stories. Every effort has been made to offer citations for all direct quotes, and links to appropriate websites.
Optimize Life Now LLC & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD makes no representations about the suitability of the content of this site for any purpose. All content is provided “as is” without any warranty of any kind. Optimize Life Now LLC & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD hereby disclaims all warranties and conditions with regard to the content, including but not limited to all implied warranties and conditions of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose, title and non-infringement. In no event shall Optimize Life Now LLC & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD be liable for any special, indirect, exemplary or consequential damages or any damages whatsoever, including but not limited to loss of use, data or profits, without regard to the form of any action, including but not limited to contract, negligence or other tort actions, arising out of or in connection with the use, copying or display of the content.
Although Optimize Life Now LLC & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD believes the content to be accurate, complete and current, Optimize Life Now LLC & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD makes no warranty as to the accuracy, completeness or currency of the content. It is your responsibility to verify any information before relying on it. The content of this site may include technical inaccuracies or typographical errors. From time to time, changes are made to the content herein. Optimize Life Now LLC & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD may make changes in the products and/or the services described herein at any time. Nothing in this site beyond the direct purchase of products or services can be construed as an offer by Optimize Life Now LLC & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD to contract with any person or entity.
Links to Other Sites Some of the sites listed as links herein are not under the control of Optimize Life Now LLC & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD. Accordingly, Optimize Life Now LLC & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD makes no representations whatsoever concerning the content of those sites. The fact that Optimize Life Now LLC & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD has provided a link to a site is not an endorsement, authorization, sponsorship or affiliation by Optimize Life Now LLC & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD with respect to such site, its owners or its providers. Optimize Life Now LLC & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD is providing these links only as a convenience to you. Optimize Life Now LLC & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD may or may not have tested information, software or products found on these sites and therefore cannot make any representations whatsoever with respect thereto. There are risks in using any information, software or products found on the Internet, and Optimize Life Now LLC & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD cautions you to make sure that you completely understand these risks before retrieving, using, relying upon or purchasing anything via the Internet.
Trademarks “Hijackals” and “Sow Peace” are trademarks of Optimize Life Now LLC & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD. All other trademarks are either owned by Optimize Life Now LLC & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, Rhoberta Shaler, or by other companies.
Copyright Notice The content of this site, including but not limited to the text and images herein and their arrangement, are copyright © 2016 by Rhoberta Shaler and/or Optimize Life Now LLC & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, 350 W. 9th Avenue, Suite 101, Escondido, CA 92025.
Authorization of Use Optimize Life Now LLC & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD hereby authorizes you to copy and display the content herein, but only for your personal or informational and non-commercial use. However, the content herein shall not be copied or posted in any network computer or broadcast in any media. Any copy you make must include this copyright notice. You may not copy or display for redistribution to third parties for commercial purposes any portion of the content without the prior written permission of Optimize Life Now LLC & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD. No modifications of any content may be made.
No Implied Licenses Nothing contained herein shall be construed as conferring by implication, estoppel or otherwise any license or right under any patent, trademark, copyright (except as expressly provided above), or proprietary rights of Optimize Life Now LLC & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD or of any third party. Optimize Life Now LLC & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD Privacy Statement
Information Provided by You Any information provided by you to Optimize Life Now LLC & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, including but not limited to feedback, data, questions, comments, suggestions or the like, shall be deemed to be non-confidential. Optimize Life Now LLC & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD shall have no obligation of any kind with respect to such information and shall be free to reproduce, use, disclose and distribute the information to others without limitation. Additionally, Optimize Life Now LLC & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD shall be free to use any ideas, concepts, know-how or techniques contained in such information for any purpose whatsoever, including but not limited to developing, manufacturing and marketing products incorporating such information. However, Optimize Life Now LLC & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD will not use your name or otherwise publicize the fact that you submitted materials or other information to Optimize Life Now LLC & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD unless: (a) we ask your permission to use your name; or (b) we first notify you that the materials or other information you submit to a particular part of this site will be published or otherwise used with your name on it; or (c) we are required to do so by law.
This disclaimer is governed by California law and any disputes shall be resolved in San Marcos, CA.