In your life journey, you’ve likely met one or two of the relentlessly difficult, crazy-making folks I call Hijackals®. That’s what has drawn you to this group. I certainly have. I was raised by Hijackals, married, divorced and co-parented with one, and have been through some of what you are experiencing now. That’s why I want to help. 

I created the word, Hijackals®, to describe people who hijack relationships–for their own purposes–and then, relentlessly scavenge them for power, status, and control. It could be a parent, partner, ex, friend, or co-worker. 

I can help you if you’re with a Hijackal, have left one, or were raised by one.

Emerging Empowered Community is a safe place where you are among friends and peers, who have been or are in relationship with a Hijackal, and know what you’re going through.

If you are living with someone who:

  • always makes you wrong
  • makes everything your fault
  • never takes responsibility for anything
  • never sincerely apologizes 


...then, you need these immediate insights, skills, and strategies. You’ll get huge help–and relief–from this Emerging Empowered community. 

When you are hurt, confused, demeaned, and exhausted by your relationship, you need to be “where everybody knows your name,” where everyone knows the journey.

  • Ask your questions.
  • Express your feelings.
  • Ask for insights and support.
  • Learn new strategies
  • Learn from other people’s experiences

We want all members to be safe and to feel secure.

Some agreements about joining the community...

That is why we have chosen to provide a private sanctuary for you. This is a place for people who are struggling in relationship with a Hijackal - a relentlessly difficult, toxic person. 

If the Hijackal is your spouse, your ex, your parent, your boss--or, someone you feel you HAVE to communicate and spend time with, or are not ready to release from your life--then, you are in the right place to get support.

Choosing to become a member also indicates that you have read, and understand, the disclaimer below. 

Dr. Shaler reserves the sole right to decline membership to anyone she feels would be unsafe or create an uncomfortable environment. Dr. Shaler may choose to have a conversation with you before allowing entry to the Emerging Empowered groups.

To become a member of our Community, you must agree to abide by the following principles. 

Members who choose not to conduct themselves in a manner appropriate to this space will have their membership terminated with no notice and no refunds.

  1. Agree to complete confidentiality - what happens in the circle stays in the circle

  2. Agree to a culture of mutual respect, politeness, empathy and support. Members who demonstrate they are unable to have respectful and supportive dialogue will be ejected without discussion nor refunds.

  3. Agree to only disclose what you are comfortable discussing with others. Do not simply blurt out a rant and then decide you shouldn't have said that. Be thoughtful in your sharing.

  4. Agree to use non-violent language. This is a safe place, and many folks may be recovering from highly-traumatic situations and relationships. Be considerate of your fellow members.

  5. Agree to respect the experiences of others. If you think what you want to share could be triggering to someone else, please write in CAPITALS, 'TRIGGER WARNING' or 'TW:' at the top of your post. You are welcome to post whatever is important and concerning for you, and by doing this, others can choose to read it or not.

Here's what's included in your $19/m subscription

  • Ongoing conversation

    Join in the discussions. Ask a question. Learn from others. Share your experience. The discussion groups works like Facebook groups, easy to use and read, even from your mobile device.

    Dr. Shaler and her staff will also regularly post ideas, insights, answers and resources. (Some sites charge more than $75/m for this!)

  • Time with Dr. Shaler

    Each month, Dr. Shaler offers small group Q&A Sessions. On the 2nd Tuesday & 3rd Saturday of the month, you can join the calls by Zoom.

    Talk LIVE with Dr. Shaler and get YOUR questions answered. Members can access both monthly sessions at no additional cost. (Non-members $25/per session, so that's a $50 benefit each month).

  • Monthly benefits

    20% off all Dr. Shaler's online courses (new ones added every couple months).

    Download free Ebooks, articles, audios and videos ONLY for members.

    AND, the exclusive opportunity to book single private sessions with Dr. Shaler, without a package. This is only available to members and past clients.

Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor, provides urgent and ongoing care for relationships in crisis. Even the United States Marines have sought her help!

Dr. Shaler focuses on helping the partners, exes, and adult children of the relentlessly difficult, toxic people she calls Hijackals® to stop the crazy-making and save their sanity.

Author of sixteen books, she hosts the internationally popular Save Your Sanity: Help for Toxic Relationships podcast. Her YouTube channel, ForRelationshipHelp, has reached over a half million views.

Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Thoughts on how Dr. Shaler supports...

“Thank you so much for your podcast!! Your genuine care of others in taking the time to generate the information in this podcast emits itself so strongly!!! It has brought me to tears, helped me to identify behaviors, and finally given me the ability put a name with a face! I would love to maybe speak with you one on one at some point. ...thanks again! 💕”

“Raised by, and all partners have been Hijackals... after nearly 5 years of Severe verbal and emotional abuse, I’m out! I recommend you to women I meet who are in same boat. I’ve learned so much from you, the cycle is over!! Thank You ❤️”

“I sincerely appreciate diligent and experiential experts like you. I owe you one for my going no contact with the Covert Narcissist both episodically and for good...The untold story is yet to be shared. I'm both assertive and positive.”

Common Questions

  • Will I actually get to talk with Dr. Shaler?

    YES. I participate in the discussion groups regularly, plus the two monthly "Ask Me Anything" sessions are live on Zoom we can talk face-to-face in small groups. (You can choose to be on-camera or not.)

  • What if I want to quit?

    If you decide this isn't for you, you can quit anytime. There is no contract. You can keep everything you've received up to that point, and you can always come back again if you wish!

  • What about my privacy?

    Our platform is on a secure network, and not connected to social media. Content is only accessible by members and admins.

    We recommend memorizing a unique password so that nobody else can access your account.

    We do our utmost to monitor the system and keep you safe, however as we know, some people are very good at manipulating the system. If we discover bad actors, they will be immediately removed and banned from the system.

    Do not share personal contact information - location, workplace or other identifiers. You are responsible for keeping your own counsel on what you'll reveal to anyone else here.

*The fine print (as always):

Subscriptions are non-refundable, but you can cancel anytime. Your subscription will remain active until the end of your most recent billing cycle (unless you are terminated for bad behavior).

Subscription & membership in the community is at the sole discretion of Dr. Shaler.

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